Wrestling Aphrodite
Creativity and Change: Coaching for Women

"You are so much more than you ever thought"

Over the years and in combination with the work of other women, I’ve articulated a structure that speaks to the core of women’s struggles with creativity. Along the way, I’ve developed very practical strategies for attending to the creative as it is expressed through women; certainly love, beauty and creativity are all core issues.

My work with creativity and women began over thirty years ago when I began noticing that women’s connection to creativity was very different from that of their male counterparts. Women had different pressures, priorities, challenges and struggles. What was going on? Women, at the extreme, had a hard time sustaining their focus, valuing their work, understanding their process, accepting their creative needs, or even understanding that their needs were not being met in the concepts and structures that were in place in the art world -- structures they had assumed would function equally well for both men and women.

When these structures failed them, the women assumed there was something wrong with themselves. Guilt was often a big factor, as was the fear of abandonment, both in the sense of letting go and worrying about being “let-go.” These concerns were woven into exquisite reasons about why they couldn’t get to their work in any consistent way.

I had hoped that the years of women’s empowerment in the world would take care of these struggles -- but as I looked more closely at the number of women who still struggled, the degree of illnesses that struck them, and the continuing degree of disenchantment, I saw that the dynamics were just as powerfully present now as they were years ago.

In large part, this is a result of having no intellectual structure/vessel to carry and grow our understanding about ourselves and our relationship to Beauty and Love ( relationship orientation) – our primary preoccupations if we are honest with ourselves -- and truth be known, finally, the path into our mature women-ness. This structure can be provided by recovering and reclaiming the Aphrodite archetype, one of the most misunderstood of all feminine archetypes, and the one to which all women relate. Aphrodite provides a psycho-spiritual perspective which has been missing.

Wrestling Aphrodite will give you language and strategies. I can share my knowledge with you individually or in groups.

In a group you will have the powerful experience of re-membering an Aphroditic Body of Knowledge. During individual sessions, you and I will explore for your strengths, challenges and resistances. With that information we will customize strategies that speak to your particular psychology and style of creativity, identifying behavior patterns that either support, interfere or enhance your best work. There are indeed Women's Mysteries - and much of the redemption of these is realized through creativity. Our task, working together, is to reveal the personal mystery that is yourself.

The intellectual framework I offer comes from the mythological/poetic perspective – my Jungian training; the way of Deep Story that provides the structure through which you gain language to talk about your unique connection to Creativity, Beauty and Love (anyone recognize Aphrodite here?) There are also very real and practical tools -- and if you follow the trail I map for you, you can learn to access, energize and sustain creative work. From there you will strike out into your own wild-er-ness. You don’t necesscarily need “to get” the spiritual implications of your work, but you do absolutely need the methods and tools which are customized to suit YOU and are guaranteed to help you when applied. And so I offer myself, The Old Tomato of Myth and Fairy-tale, to work with you regardless of the media or where you are in your development as an artist and a woman.

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Why would you use a creativity coach/change agent instead of a psychotherapist?

Therapy is generally symptom-oriented and focuses on what is wrong, unhealthy or weak. What we find in psychotherapy emerges from what seems to me is a culture missing a respected feminine archetype, and therefore often involves helping the client adjust to an imbalanced culture. Taking the larger view – from a mytho-poetic perspective – puts you and your life into a very different creative context and throws open the door to more positive options and possibilies.

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As a change agent and creativity coach, I will help you focus on growth and change in terms of what is right, healthy, talented and balanced about you. We look to expand the sense of self, cultivating confidence and certainty rather than treating you for what is "wrong." We will also explore for the possible presence of a "saboteur" and for negative life patterns. We will explore decisions that you have made in response to a limited or unhealthy framework, enabling you to change responses from victim to responsible pro-active woman: Responsibility -- the ability to respond - is quite different than a pattern of reacting. There are of course occasional times when I will refer a client to a psychotherapist, but most of the time this work is exactly what's needed.

What I bring to the work:

Training in the psycho-mythological processes of Jung, Assagioli’s work with sub-personalities, conjoint family therapy, study of myth and fairy-tale, training and working in expressive arts, my own work as a poet, performer and artist, as well as all that I learned in my studies with an Inupiat medicine man. In addition to this, I bring years of psychic training and practice, a deep appreciation and understanding of astrology, and the ability to help you utilize your dreams as a dispassionate and truthful overview of your situation and possible passageway to solution. We will also be utilizing a writing technique I call Writing Through the Body. There will be a book list that you can use to support your work, and you may even find yourself suggesting supplimental books. I am also looking to create a network of women artists for further mutual support.

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For our first appointment we will explore with each other whether we are a good fit, and whether I can assist you on your path. There is no charge for this.

LEARNING TO SEE IN THE DARK: MAP MAKING

** To begin with you will name and describe your goal.
** Then we will begin assessing your strengths and challenges through the deep interview process - which includes looking at your astrological chart, your dreams, and gathering together materials you will need. (such as??)
** After two or three sessions, you will name your goal again. Sometimes it changes as a result of the deep interview process where you really begin to understand and articulate your thoughts. Some women find that their goals were coming from the wrong place and make goals more fitting with who they are and the lives they want to live.

STARTING OUT

** Creating a ritual in which you will keep a daily log of creativity—ideas, thoughts, sketches, quick poems, concerns, etc. all related to creativity.
** Writing to uncover the riches of your psyche - I will teach you a technique that emerged organically through my work as a poet, a Jungian psychotherapist and the student of Amuok, an Inupiat medicine man. (This is suggested but optional.)
** Identifying and befriending fear
** Naming patterns of resistance - in depth.
** Discovering your allies
** Sustaining and retaining focus - very, very difficult for many women. We will explore with surgical precision those points at which you often quit, get distracted, abandon yourself/your projects, "lose interest" and are seduced by a "new and better vision/fantasy" which ultimately turns out to have all the same difficulties as the one you just left; this is the Aphrodite syndrome. Duty is another great distractor, putting your needs second. If you’re a mother, you’re really good at this. The list goes on- all the reasons you can’t finish or get to your own work.

FINDING YOUR WAY

** Creating strategies for recognizing and short-circuiting derailments.
** Implementing strategies
** Overcoming negative patterns
** Maintaining momentum

HOMECOMING

** Integration
** Tools for maintaining growth and centeredness
** Continued support through periodic check-ins

To contact Ashlar click info@ashlar.org